I put on a good show but I am the least confident person I know. I am burdened with the knowledge that I can seem attractive and vivacious but also at the same time I have the crippling feeling that I am unlovable, unknowable, and generally a mess. I’m a good flirt, which make me good at my job, but deep down I feel like that is all that I have. I’m a good time that can be forgotten. All my life I have felt alone so I keep people at arms length so I can’t feel the disappointment of letting anyone in. But I’m want to feel the same love and loyalty that I feel that I show people in return. I hate flakey behavior because it’s a reflection of apathy, and I refuse to be at the bottom of the list anymore.